Altered perception

She said she started to think that everything she do bring miserable to people. She feel remorsed all the time and it did bite her. She started to think to escape again.

The belief that friends can grow up together has broken and be replaced by bringing miserable to others only. She said she keep thinking of closing and stopping, none can stop that thought anymore. The cut that the truth told by her friend is too deep and still bleeding.

The things she looked at things are all differences now. They are not come because of needing her, they are coming because of wanting to use her. They are not sharing the sorrowness and fight the hardness together, they are just come to share the fruits when battle over. She started to imagine that they think she only talk something spoilt the atmosphere, only do something silly and bring miserable to them.

She started to think that her sharing are not valuable and not treasured at all. It is just annoy people. Her thought make people feel bored, annoy, stress and miserable. Her sharing was just wasting the other people time and energy.

Her behaviour changed and her words changed due to her altered perception. She is avoiding eye contact and has no wish to look at people around her again. She just want to close her eyes and not to feel other's feeling and not to understand other's thought.

She has lost her faith. She has lost the thing to keep her determined and on-going.
I....dunno wat to tell her...

I can only tell her one episode in criminal. When the agents make one wrong guess, he was unable to save the victims. He started to blame himself for not paying attention to that person and cause the victim lost her life. However, there was one experience agent come to him and said: "the tragedy is not your responsibility, it is created by the bad people. You are just choose to be an agent to help the victim and not cause the tradegy. You have prevented the next tragedy to happen again."

The changed perception help the agent. So, she have to try to change her perception thou it is hard. If those thinking still in her mind, it will influence her life, her behaviour and people around her. In return, she will be influenced by these. She need to believe that she can changed and be determined. Will I be able to accompany her to walk out from this dark period of time? I hope so but I dun dare to promise anything. I will try all my best.