Actor + script writer + director + editor

With my great camera man
With my great actor
With my script
With me

Wow...haha....feel so happy
and like it so much
Like this part...
:)

Filming

Filming, you have taken my soul and mind.
No matter what I do, I will thinking about you.
I have put everything in you. It's everything.
I believe you will be my best memory in college.
I wont forget about you.

I dun care what is the outcome of it.
We have try our best.

I never know i can like it so much.
A happiness of flying to the sky.
It's the effect of being Gemini or I really love it?
I dunno.
I just know i like it so much now.

I am not treating it as assignment already.
It's a product.
It combined experiences, emotion, personality, behavior.....
Many things...
It's just so interesting.

Sybil

It is a must to watch this movie.

Really fantastic.

I would like to say that the looked normal person can be the most miserable one.

If the person looked with problem and know how to gain help, still can get attention.

When the main character appear in the movie.

She looked normal until didnt catch attention, i think.

Then later the stories developed.

She really looked normal.

However.....

She loss her mind easily and have weird behavior.

She get nervous easily.

She have some weird belief toward normal things,

such as touching is hurt and button hook is harmful etc

Besides, she liked to break the window.

Therefore, people leave her.

Think that she is bad person and hard to work together.

It make herself have no friend and no job.

Live a difficult life.

And nobody care about her, not even her father, the only kin.

Just because she looked normal and cant get "good" attention.

There are some reasons behind her action actually.

It is because she want to get out from some place.

It is because this is her way to ask for help.

It is because she have been tortured by her mother terribly.

She grew up in this way.

Things kept being put into her body, thru all kind of ways.

Sometime, just because of the normal appearance,

seldom people care about the pain in heart.

Sometime, just because of the normal,

people will not spend time and effort to study it.

Haha....anyway, in the end, actually....

She got DID. Multiple personalities which are 13 personalities.

So, it is still so called "adnormal"

The librarians

Today. i need to renew library book.

In order to save time and energy,

i only bring my book when i need to go toilet.

Then, i put it at outside, besides drinking machine.

When I finished my business and went back to get it...

It's empty. ><.

Har~~~~O.O

Err...maybe someone gave to librarian

Or maybe someone think that these books are useful and taken away..

O.O

I walk back and forth outside library

Then, the librarian called me in.

Then, i relief a bit, because the chance that they get it higher...

Yea....they get it.

Then, they told me that if lose the books alr, how much i need to pay

It have to be doubled.

So will be around RM600.

If really lose them, i think i can cry alr.

Furthermore, the door prob havent settled yet leh...

SO, they just hid them deliberately.

Nothing happen actually.

Thank godness.

Haha. :D

But fun meh. =.=". Puk.

Good photos

These are the good photos i mean oh. :)

Taken from Dullard Tham

I admire her so so so much.

I think all are taken from good angle. She is talented.

I dun hav such talent.

I know can learn, but i just feel that i dun have such talent.

Haha..."I like"...

Got feel... :)

A loss

If the time went back
I will still choose you.
You are really the person in my mind
who suitable to do this.
I really like your product.
Too bad...
Wonder will there be another chance.
In this case, i am pessimistic.

Happy story

She is thinking about a happy story about herself to say
She talked about a day that she can complete her own things.
After that, she can meet a group of friends to discuss about
a way to teach dancing.
Then, the method is really effective.

Then...
I ask...
U know dancing?
-Yes.
U prefer teaching dancing ma?
-No, I prefer dancing alone.
So, is it a way to relax?
-Ya, i like it a lot. It is also my dream.
-However, i still need to consider the reality.
-Sometime, dream and the reality cannot be realized at the same time.
WHy?
-Hmm...the market of teaching dancing is not so big.

In the end, it's sad
Hmmm..

Out of category

She said i am out of categories.
Normal cant explain me.
Hmm....actually, i think so.
Seem like most test not accurate for me.

Where do I stand?
I dun bother.
Categories are created.
I think I have power to create for myself.
If there is none, i can create one place for myself to stand.
Although not much people will stand with me.
Does it matter?

Thursday defense, life since Friday.......

Friday, after attending course of editing movie,
writing script from noon to midnight 3am.

Saturday, too tired alr plus the weird phone, i cant wake up
Make people wait for me for half an hour outside my house. =.="
I reach college by 8.30am.
Shooting until 12am, only i back home.
Finally, can take a rest bc body and mind both tired. TT

The moment i back home, i cant open the door of my room. =.="
I did bring the key, but the problem is 'just cant open' TT
Then, i can only slept on the sofa.
Because my phone battery flat alr and roommate all not at home.
It's saturday night.
Til 2.30am, one of them come back with bf.
Her bf helped me to break the door because i really need to go in.
Argh...the next problem is I dunno how to tell my landlord alr. Err...
Left this problem aside first, coz i hav no time for it.

The script kept running in my mind, i cant sleep until near 4am.
Again, cant wake up on time. Late 10 minutes. =.="
When I wake up, my whole back pain. ><
Training from 9-6pm.
Online meeting from 8pm-12am.

Tomoro 10am, continue shooting.........

ANyway, need to complete 4 assignments within 2 weeks. Haiz...

PLUS, these few days, sicking. @@ TT

The SHE in there

Today.
I meet someone there.

She speak everything in my mind.
I felt so happy that she understand what I want.
She also understand what i said.
Besides, she also share her ideas with me.
So that i can put into script.
Because she got many experiences in drama
And she like it a lots.
Everything she shared, just match with my stuff.
The feeling is like "wah, haha."

She is someone with dreams
She want to create something that would not fade with time.
Besides, the thing must not be vulgar.
It has to be elegant, noble...
She said, her final destination, final satisfaction
will come from this. Must be come from this.
I understand.
Then, i change my conversation as well.
Talk about something deeper directly. HAHA
She mention everyone has their own missions in this world.
When able to realize it, this is some kind of happiness.
This is called "self actualization" in theory.
However, too bad, i need to rush for script.
And so, i stop myself.
Before, she left, she mentioned that actually,
she got published her short essay gei
"WAH"

SO, here is what i know,
She is a good analytical
Also a philosopher
A thinker.
Someone wish to wander around the world
She know what she like,
But she also know about the reality.
Most importance, she know about LIFE.

She like to study about people.
But she is not studying psychology.
She is studying marketing.
And this is her last semester.

This is the first impressive she gave me.
I am so happy.
I remembered I have meet 4 people like this in college.

I met her here.
This place is quiet.
It got what I like.
It got what I want.
It's safe
It let me meet someone like this.
This place is my paradise.
Haha. :)
It's a special day again.
This time, someone witness it.
Yea...it's just always happen spontaneously.

Crazies

Is it normal?
Always having meeting from early morning to night.
Last time, is because of marketing project.
But it's still ok.
Although many meeting, also fr morning to afternoon only.
Then, later is construct.
From 9-7pm
Then, tomoro again doing project from 6am-11pm
In order to write the script, work from 2pm-10pm,12am continue.
Sunday, training from 9-6pm.
Argh...@@
=.=" *pulling my face down

Minor completed

Mission completed.
I have finished my minor.
I am extremely happy for that.
It is called "flow"
Because this is the challenge not too difficult
and not too easy for me.
Most importance, I have accomplished it.
Haha

So, now left major and my training.
Left 7 to-be-completed subjects.
Third phase will started from this Sunday until June.
Pray that everything will be fine and go smoothly.

I am having a feeling that I am dreaming.
College life seem like a dream.
I wonder after I graduate, will I feel that i have just made a dream.
Hmm...when i wake up,
I have just gone back to the same life as three years ago.
Is it because it is like this?
Or is it because now seem fake and there seem real.
I dunno and dun un.

He smsed me and asked me to cure him.
I can face it better now and I told him I cant.
You can talk to me but I cant cure you.
Only you can cure yourself.
Gambateh!!everyone.

After defense

I have completed my defense, means this subject completed.

Have tried my best, but no confidence.

Not so terrible, just getting their feedback.

Wear formally because i dunno whether I should.

Done better than none.

Exhausted and not happy.

A feeling of

Bye bye.

Shut down.

Before thesis defence

It's my doom day.
I am getting nervous now.

It's thesis defense on 2pm.

I still felt that I know nothing.

Need to present in front of two doctorate lecturer

and being questioned by them.

One way to interpret is being critiqued

Another way is to let them understand more about this research

Either way, I just feel scared about answering questions,

The Q&A session will last about 15 minutes, you know.

Will I die under the shoots. ><

I know will not die.

But i dislike the feeling of unable to answer the questions.

Unable to give them a satisfied answer.

Fight or flight, no need to choose.

Just extremely stressful now.

Because i view it as importance.

Argh. Wish myself calm.

Photo

This is the photo i get it by one year ago.
Since that, i always put it as profile picture. The feedback i gained is "is cute". Nobody noticed the other thing.
Some thinked that i would not like this photo.
This is just a normal photo, no need 2 be complicated anyway.

Actually, I like the photo.
I felt that this photo was given with vitality.
There is life inside and it seem trying to tell some story.

Recently, there was a person tell me that "hey, you looked sad".
I was so happy to hear that because she also can feel the story of the photo.
Yea, I was sad at that moment.
In one year, you are the only person who tell me what you feel from photo.
Woo....Isn't that photographer great? :D

Not only great, is formidable.
Suddenly felt extremely admire the photographer.
I wonder I can be like her or not.
To capture the natural, life, the moment, the story and the feeling.
I still remember I was not concentrate on the event nor did I observe something at that time, I was thinking about something else. This moment has been captured. :)

Just feel that she is a good photographer just because her photo give people feeling. This is how I justified a good photographer. No need to be complicated. Beautiful means beautiful, got feeling means got feeling.

Anyway, after someone identified the photo as sad, i decided to change. So, i put another photo. Cannot be sad all the time. Need to be mixed. haha..

It's a more normal picture taken from normal angle now. :)