She said she started to think that everything she do bring miserable to people. She feel remorsed all the time and it did bite her. She started to think to escape again.
The belief that friends can grow up together has broken and be replaced by bringing miserable to others only. She said she keep thinking of closing and stopping, none can stop that thought anymore. The cut that the truth told by her friend is too deep and still bleeding.
The things she looked at things are all differences now. They are not come because of needing her, they are coming because of wanting to use her. They are not sharing the sorrowness and fight the hardness together, they are just come to share the fruits when battle over. She started to imagine that they think she only talk something spoilt the atmosphere, only do something silly and bring miserable to them.
She started to think that her sharing are not valuable and not treasured at all. It is just annoy people. Her thought make people feel bored, annoy, stress and miserable. Her sharing was just wasting the other people time and energy.
Her behaviour changed and her words changed due to her altered perception. She is avoiding eye contact and has no wish to look at people around her again. She just want to close her eyes and not to feel other's feeling and not to understand other's thought.
She has lost her faith. She has lost the thing to keep her determined and on-going.
I....dunno wat to tell her...
I can only tell her one episode in criminal. When the agents make one wrong guess, he was unable to save the victims. He started to blame himself for not paying attention to that person and cause the victim lost her life. However, there was one experience agent come to him and said: "the tragedy is not your responsibility, it is created by the bad people. You are just choose to be an agent to help the victim and not cause the tradegy. You have prevented the next tragedy to happen again."
The changed perception help the agent. So, she have to try to change her perception thou it is hard. If those thinking still in her mind, it will influence her life, her behaviour and people around her. In return, she will be influenced by these. She need to believe that she can changed and be determined. Will I be able to accompany her to walk out from this dark period of time? I hope so but I dun dare to promise anything. I will try all my best.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Journal of the day
Today, have one hour interview. Err....Started to wondering wat r they hunting for. I stop myself to think tis question immediately. Y should I care? The world is just like tat, there is no free lunch in this world, we are just making a trade. When they give me something, they must be asking something from me. Anyway, finally pass t process of application and interview...hehe..
Then finish the criminal mind 4th season. The story started to go to a direction of GREY. It is no longer only between black and white. The agents will be confused about wat is right and wat is wrong and they need to be firm and sure about wat they did is right. If not, they might collapse. Hmm...the argument of Dissociative Identity Disorder with crime were also displayed in this movie. I still remember what DR. N said before, DID happened when the things is too miserable for a small kids and they imagine they escape or let another person to protect them. Hmm...their way to protect themselves.
The last episode is talking about antisocial child killed his younger brother and the dog, and unable to feel remorse. So, will Love soften their heart and let them feel? Or just give up the child and send to hospital? A choice to increase the probability of letting a child to be able to change and feel, or another choice to make no change at all. Hmm..
Thinking, thinking....
Then finish the criminal mind 4th season. The story started to go to a direction of GREY. It is no longer only between black and white. The agents will be confused about wat is right and wat is wrong and they need to be firm and sure about wat they did is right. If not, they might collapse. Hmm...the argument of Dissociative Identity Disorder with crime were also displayed in this movie. I still remember what DR. N said before, DID happened when the things is too miserable for a small kids and they imagine they escape or let another person to protect them. Hmm...their way to protect themselves.
The last episode is talking about antisocial child killed his younger brother and the dog, and unable to feel remorse. So, will Love soften their heart and let them feel? Or just give up the child and send to hospital? A choice to increase the probability of letting a child to be able to change and feel, or another choice to make no change at all. Hmm..
Thinking, thinking....
Journal of the day
In order to do things in the morning, i tried not to sleep alr. I just wanna take a nap in sitting position. I really dunno when did i lie down on my bed as my last memory is take a nap in sitting position on my chair and set the alarm clock.
Err...I just late badly. Hmm..maybe when it is time to break down, it will. It has never happened before that i cant remember what i have done before sleep. Quite scary.
Well....finish the things alr. As I said, many things need to be done. Just finish two tasks only, alr so tired. What if we didnt do flier and poster by yesterday?
Went to calligraphy later. Feel so tired that i almost fall into sleep at the bus stop and miss the bus. OMG. It is not me. I remembered when i first come KL, I always felt that KL people can sleep in any places and i dun understand why or how can it be. Now, i become one of them alr. It is so unhealthy lifestyle, sleep deprived. Too stress...
I really impressed with him. I wonder how he deal with the situation when he found out that his second son is dianosed as austistic child. His wife gave up the job for the sake of their son and they send their son for special education. Life become more busier and stress, but he can still live happily. He really is a responsible man who take care of his family and everything.
Err...I just late badly. Hmm..maybe when it is time to break down, it will. It has never happened before that i cant remember what i have done before sleep. Quite scary.
Well....finish the things alr. As I said, many things need to be done. Just finish two tasks only, alr so tired. What if we didnt do flier and poster by yesterday?
Went to calligraphy later. Feel so tired that i almost fall into sleep at the bus stop and miss the bus. OMG. It is not me. I remembered when i first come KL, I always felt that KL people can sleep in any places and i dun understand why or how can it be. Now, i become one of them alr. It is so unhealthy lifestyle, sleep deprived. Too stress...
I really impressed with him. I wonder how he deal with the situation when he found out that his second son is dianosed as austistic child. His wife gave up the job for the sake of their son and they send their son for special education. Life become more busier and stress, but he can still live happily. He really is a responsible man who take care of his family and everything.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Compulsivity , Obsessivity
There is always a time for a person that some thought keep rounding in one head. However, anything is not a good thing when it goes to extreme end. I think that can be an extreme habit.
The definition for this so called thought is that a person keep repeating a thing or a story by imagining thro or going thro the story again and again. It is not thinking for an solution or another alternative way. If they express the story again and again to others, it indeed can annoy listener. How about them who keep repeating thinking about their own story and also talking thro their mouths?" @@...They might have been repeating for more than a thousand time than wat have been listened by others already. Hmm...what will be their feels then? What if this kind of thing last for months or years? Is it compulsive? A compulsive thingy that is unresistable or a hard thing to be resisted?
I think they are vulnerable to depression or distraction. They just cant accept wat is out of expectation and need to complete wat they need to repeat. For example, if I always need to clean my face for an hour before i leave my house, I will do that always no mather I am going to be late or others are waiting or i am in other's house. I cant change the habit and I will feel anxiety if i dont do that. Hmm...what if acting it out and saying it out are the only way for me to relieve my anxiety? is it obssessive? An Obseesive thingy which is to repeat doing something to let me feel comfortable and avoid displeased feeling?
They cant stop. Then, how would they feel when something happen on them suddenly? Something out of the expectation? I think it will be a great blow/surprise which is more than hard to be accepted by them. It can be so traumatic/unfadable for a person to keep thinking of it and unable to reject it. Endless thinking will start and therefore endless repeating talking needed to relieve stress. Well, they might have good episodic memory.
I think most of them feel hard to go out from the circle of thoughts and less able to think out of the circle. Round and round and round... OMG, how stress is it if it last for months and years?
The definition for this so called thought is that a person keep repeating a thing or a story by imagining thro or going thro the story again and again. It is not thinking for an solution or another alternative way. If they express the story again and again to others, it indeed can annoy listener. How about them who keep repeating thinking about their own story and also talking thro their mouths?" @@...They might have been repeating for more than a thousand time than wat have been listened by others already. Hmm...what will be their feels then? What if this kind of thing last for months or years? Is it compulsive? A compulsive thingy that is unresistable or a hard thing to be resisted?
I think they are vulnerable to depression or distraction. They just cant accept wat is out of expectation and need to complete wat they need to repeat. For example, if I always need to clean my face for an hour before i leave my house, I will do that always no mather I am going to be late or others are waiting or i am in other's house. I cant change the habit and I will feel anxiety if i dont do that. Hmm...what if acting it out and saying it out are the only way for me to relieve my anxiety? is it obssessive? An Obseesive thingy which is to repeat doing something to let me feel comfortable and avoid displeased feeling?
They cant stop. Then, how would they feel when something happen on them suddenly? Something out of the expectation? I think it will be a great blow/surprise which is more than hard to be accepted by them. It can be so traumatic/unfadable for a person to keep thinking of it and unable to reject it. Endless thinking will start and therefore endless repeating talking needed to relieve stress. Well, they might have good episodic memory.
I think most of them feel hard to go out from the circle of thoughts and less able to think out of the circle. Round and round and round... OMG, how stress is it if it last for months and years?
Journal of the day
For the sake of exams, didnt able to sleep well over the past 2 weeks. Afraid that unable to wake up on time.
Unable to move this morning and fainted for a few times. Too tired d. I only tot i blink my eyes for a moment, then 3 hours gone. Saw a few sms and just thinking of moving, closed my eyes and den fainted again.
Hmm...went for meeting later. Last minute which has few importance points need to be known by all publicity members havent been settled yet. Today, wat's been discussed still t same thing and none move forward...Haiz...where is the brainstorming? Then, go home? Err...if i know, i might as well spend time to sleep even more n just wait for t minute.
Hmm...Found out again, a thing that can be settled by one person need to be done by two...nothing to say alr...Well, y i am still the one who push the things to move forward? Y i cant put down t things n just have a cup of coffee and watch t movie? What is the reasons for them to choose to go back home? Hmm...maybe they think they can settle everything later.
Well...if push every jobs to tomoro, i cant imagine how busy will it be and t job might just still cannot be finished. The quality of work will not be good as everyone cannot focus on the only task but have to divide attention to two things at the same time. Haiz, so wat is the reasons for tat decision? As I believe a person's action always reveal character, maybe the last minute pattern will be like tat.
Err...Y still dun understand after few months? The fliers or anything for publicity is to attract people to participate, but not give information only.
Well, I still push them to settle t fliers thingy. I nv think that the fliers is an easy matters or maybe my requirement is high, I think it will need couple of hours to finish a better quality fliers in my pace. So 4 hours really spent to settle this task by today. Hope they looked nice and will be effective...
What is it means by need to slow down t pace at this point of time? Err...if tat so, dun put the date so early which is just two weeks later. A date which the preparation period is the time of the others will have exam or outstation. No one will willing to do the jobs in their critical time, who can u ask for help after these few days. Err...maybe you have lots. I dunno...
Hmm, finish task. I just drop her at bus stop. If it was the past, i would accompany a person to wait for the bus, but i didnt do it this time. Hmm..well..everything happen for a reason or I just cant do it anymore or dun wish to do anymore or....
Unable to move this morning and fainted for a few times. Too tired d. I only tot i blink my eyes for a moment, then 3 hours gone. Saw a few sms and just thinking of moving, closed my eyes and den fainted again.
Hmm...went for meeting later. Last minute which has few importance points need to be known by all publicity members havent been settled yet. Today, wat's been discussed still t same thing and none move forward...Haiz...where is the brainstorming? Then, go home? Err...if i know, i might as well spend time to sleep even more n just wait for t minute.
Hmm...Found out again, a thing that can be settled by one person need to be done by two...nothing to say alr...Well, y i am still the one who push the things to move forward? Y i cant put down t things n just have a cup of coffee and watch t movie? What is the reasons for them to choose to go back home? Hmm...maybe they think they can settle everything later.
Well...if push every jobs to tomoro, i cant imagine how busy will it be and t job might just still cannot be finished. The quality of work will not be good as everyone cannot focus on the only task but have to divide attention to two things at the same time. Haiz, so wat is the reasons for tat decision? As I believe a person's action always reveal character, maybe the last minute pattern will be like tat.
Err...Y still dun understand after few months? The fliers or anything for publicity is to attract people to participate, but not give information only.
Well, I still push them to settle t fliers thingy. I nv think that the fliers is an easy matters or maybe my requirement is high, I think it will need couple of hours to finish a better quality fliers in my pace. So 4 hours really spent to settle this task by today. Hope they looked nice and will be effective...
What is it means by need to slow down t pace at this point of time? Err...if tat so, dun put the date so early which is just two weeks later. A date which the preparation period is the time of the others will have exam or outstation. No one will willing to do the jobs in their critical time, who can u ask for help after these few days. Err...maybe you have lots. I dunno...
Hmm, finish task. I just drop her at bus stop. If it was the past, i would accompany a person to wait for the bus, but i didnt do it this time. Hmm..well..everything happen for a reason or I just cant do it anymore or dun wish to do anymore or....
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Journal of the day
Finally..., exam over.
Y the difficulty of this 40% exam and the difficulty of the 30% assignment can be so differences. Hmm...nvm, finally over...Hope everything will be fine.
Hmm...after exam, meeting for trip and wait T-shirt. Ei...the company only help us to arrange transport... Their job not including arrange places for us to visit, we need to do our own research de la. Haiz....No tour guide fee charged and how can I asked them to do the job of tour guide? Hmm....I can ask for their suggestions only, not they made decision and then we follow the place to go......Haiz...and so I have another job list....
Then, went to sing K with 10 other friends. It is a huge team to me....err...hmm..They used three tables to combine into one long tables for a feast in Pizza Hut...OMG, the screne...I was a bit startled when i first saw it..
Need to clarify one thing. I fiddled my hair after sunglass wore because i need my hair to come out from the space bet sunglass and my eyes...It is not because want to do some cool action... :P
No mood to sing K. Maybe is because was too tired already or there has too many people...Haha, but still sang many in the end...Instead of sing K, I was having some philosophical thinking in my mind and thinking about somethings in my life. Hmm..Just I observed something and then had many abstract thought in that room which cause the high stimulation, so i need lots of time to rearrange it instead of sing K...Maybe...
Well, on the way back, she asked something. Hmm...I dun think I am improving and actually I am walking backward each semester. Not talking about exam, not talking about skill, just.....Hmmm....Conclusion is just I am walking backward instead moving forward.
After sing K for 7 hours, I finally back home, settle some stuffs and restore entertainment...hehe..Here I come, Criminal mind 4th season...
Y the difficulty of this 40% exam and the difficulty of the 30% assignment can be so differences. Hmm...nvm, finally over...Hope everything will be fine.
Hmm...after exam, meeting for trip and wait T-shirt. Ei...the company only help us to arrange transport... Their job not including arrange places for us to visit, we need to do our own research de la. Haiz....No tour guide fee charged and how can I asked them to do the job of tour guide? Hmm....I can ask for their suggestions only, not they made decision and then we follow the place to go......Haiz...and so I have another job list....
Then, went to sing K with 10 other friends. It is a huge team to me....err...hmm..They used three tables to combine into one long tables for a feast in Pizza Hut...OMG, the screne...I was a bit startled when i first saw it..
Need to clarify one thing. I fiddled my hair after sunglass wore because i need my hair to come out from the space bet sunglass and my eyes...It is not because want to do some cool action... :P
No mood to sing K. Maybe is because was too tired already or there has too many people...Haha, but still sang many in the end...Instead of sing K, I was having some philosophical thinking in my mind and thinking about somethings in my life. Hmm..Just I observed something and then had many abstract thought in that room which cause the high stimulation, so i need lots of time to rearrange it instead of sing K...Maybe...
Well, on the way back, she asked something. Hmm...I dun think I am improving and actually I am walking backward each semester. Not talking about exam, not talking about skill, just.....Hmmm....Conclusion is just I am walking backward instead moving forward.
After sing K for 7 hours, I finally back home, settle some stuffs and restore entertainment...hehe..Here I come, Criminal mind 4th season...
Journal of yesterday
Yesterday, spend night at friend's house unexpectedly. HAHA..
Thanks Dr. H sparing me a life by not making the paper to be too diffficult. Feel much secure after finished the paper. Hmm..went to YY house immediately after exam.
Haha....Normally last minutes people will hug the buddhist's leg before the challenge. I ....choose to hug YY's leg tightly, dun let go and YY let me...hehe...N it is really work. Learned many things in one day, more than what I learn in the classes over one semester. YY actually has completed the exam and can rest or watch tv or do relaxing things, but YY choose to help. So..touch...and i am really grateful.
Found out a great fact which is the swimming pool in their apartment is what I want to find, unlike the pool in most apartment. HAHA...real happy....wanna swim always, frequently...hehe...The pool is so near to my house and I have been complaining for lacking of better swimming pool for 2 years...Haiz...Nvm la, at least i still found it now. Besides, with one surprise, found one friend who like to swim also and she lived in that apartment...hehe....Planning, planning..
Thanks Dr. H sparing me a life by not making the paper to be too diffficult. Feel much secure after finished the paper. Hmm..went to YY house immediately after exam.
Haha....Normally last minutes people will hug the buddhist's leg before the challenge. I ....choose to hug YY's leg tightly, dun let go and YY let me...hehe...N it is really work. Learned many things in one day, more than what I learn in the classes over one semester. YY actually has completed the exam and can rest or watch tv or do relaxing things, but YY choose to help. So..touch...and i am really grateful.
Found out a great fact which is the swimming pool in their apartment is what I want to find, unlike the pool in most apartment. HAHA...real happy....wanna swim always, frequently...hehe...The pool is so near to my house and I have been complaining for lacking of better swimming pool for 2 years...Haiz...Nvm la, at least i still found it now. Besides, with one surprise, found one friend who like to swim also and she lived in that apartment...hehe....Planning, planning..
Monday, April 20, 2009
The power of life
If her mother give up on her, i think she will never know her daughter can be so great. Hmm...Dun ever underestimate the power of life.
We have no right to say impossible if we havent tried. We have no right to judge if we havent tasted other's life.
Journal of the day
Stress given and interests induced are really two differences matters. Why studying in two differences conditions can cause so much differences? Hmm...Must remember the feeling and dun do the same thing in future if I had the chance.
All the words are so difficult to be memorized. Keep forgetting and there are still so much need to memorize. Grasp the concept already, but the names and words...Urgh...
The minute still havent came out yet and the time getting closer, so I smsed them. Distribute the jobs and found out their time already, hope everything going smoothly. Gambate...
Thinking that there is a line for everything. Going to any extreme just will not bring anything good. Life for me is to find out the line and hold on the line. Please dun misunderstand the meaning of some sentences and go to extreme way.
Hmm....continue memorizing....
All the words are so difficult to be memorized. Keep forgetting and there are still so much need to memorize. Grasp the concept already, but the names and words...Urgh...
The minute still havent came out yet and the time getting closer, so I smsed them. Distribute the jobs and found out their time already, hope everything going smoothly. Gambate...
Thinking that there is a line for everything. Going to any extreme just will not bring anything good. Life for me is to find out the line and hold on the line. Please dun misunderstand the meaning of some sentences and go to extreme way.
Hmm....continue memorizing....
Taboos
Everyone has their own taboos. That is a line that no others can step on it or get across it. It is because taboo is just like a bomb that will explode in any time. The power of destruction is high and no restoration effort can be done after exploded.
I have a few taboos. The most importance is dun think that my "only" will bring miserable to you, useless and bring negative impaclt on you. It is just untolerable because that is the only that i am proud of, any negative thinking on it just cannot be accepted. My line is still quite loose which as long as your thinking doesnt influence me. Until now, there is only one person step on it and caused it exploded. Until now, the destruction effect still havent restored.
The second one is not to say something that shouldnt be said in front of public. It is fine as long as it doesnt influence me. If it influences, the kind of feeling given in that situation is just untolerable for me. Maybe it is nothing to certain kind of people, but it is not for me. There are some people step on this taboo, but it is not so destructive and the effect is still acceptable, unless the same thing keep repeated.
The third one is to keep promise. It is fine to refuse to do at first but it is not fine when a person didnt do or find excuse to escape after promised. It is like giving a person a hope and then destroy it. Hmm..
Well, there are still some other mini minor one which most are about privacy. However, seldom people will have the chance to invade and most people will respect that too.
Who will step on these taboos? Well, the absurd fact is most are those people who closer like families and friends as they have most chances.
I have a few taboos. The most importance is dun think that my "only" will bring miserable to you, useless and bring negative impaclt on you. It is just untolerable because that is the only that i am proud of, any negative thinking on it just cannot be accepted. My line is still quite loose which as long as your thinking doesnt influence me. Until now, there is only one person step on it and caused it exploded. Until now, the destruction effect still havent restored.
The second one is not to say something that shouldnt be said in front of public. It is fine as long as it doesnt influence me. If it influences, the kind of feeling given in that situation is just untolerable for me. Maybe it is nothing to certain kind of people, but it is not for me. There are some people step on this taboo, but it is not so destructive and the effect is still acceptable, unless the same thing keep repeated.
The third one is to keep promise. It is fine to refuse to do at first but it is not fine when a person didnt do or find excuse to escape after promised. It is like giving a person a hope and then destroy it. Hmm..
Well, there are still some other mini minor one which most are about privacy. However, seldom people will have the chance to invade and most people will respect that too.
Who will step on these taboos? Well, the absurd fact is most are those people who closer like families and friends as they have most chances.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Journal of the day
A hot day. Even after drinking more water and take a shower, still feel hot, especially recently burn midnight oil. Internal body heat + external heat = being constantly cooked. Planing to go somewhere to reduce the external heat by tomoro. Hmm
Wondering why she need to shut the windows so loudly? Cant she just tell me that there is cat coming in thro the window and ask me dun open the window? Well, I nv see any cats coming in, dead rat or cockcroach running in n out. Err..y all seen by her?
Thinking that it's time for me to be quiet as constantly to be active is not a good thing. hmm...Thinking that i have not had much holiday since last May which has been almost one year. When others were having two months holiday, 3 weeks holiday, i was just taking subjects from another department. Well, have decided to slow down my pace to stop and be quiet after settling these things. I think it is no use to keep running ahead, should slow down to look things around and look back. :)
It has been five years since i left my secondary school. OMG. It has been a long time and i am so old alr. I read that book and found out that all friends have changed. Although i still contact the old friends, most of their view, value and character have already changed. They might just some new people for me to take a fresh start to know now. Hmm...The friends I know are those five years ago and the feeling is captured in the photo, my memory and their words for me only. It is no longer between they and me now.
Found out what i still remain is once I decided to go, I will go. Once I decided to cut, I will cut. Once I decided to stop, then i will not move anymore. Or can say, easily to initiate and easily to give up also. HAHA.. Hmm...stubborn is my personality that endure over my life, since kindergarden to primary school to secondary school and until now. HAHA...If still want to evaluate whether it is a weakness or an advantage, I would say, if use it wisely, it is advantage, and if it is wrongly used, it is weakness. Have to admit that, sometime it is good and sometime it is bad for me.
Thinking too much alr, should be focus on study....continue study...
Wondering why she need to shut the windows so loudly? Cant she just tell me that there is cat coming in thro the window and ask me dun open the window? Well, I nv see any cats coming in, dead rat or cockcroach running in n out. Err..y all seen by her?
Thinking that it's time for me to be quiet as constantly to be active is not a good thing. hmm...Thinking that i have not had much holiday since last May which has been almost one year. When others were having two months holiday, 3 weeks holiday, i was just taking subjects from another department. Well, have decided to slow down my pace to stop and be quiet after settling these things. I think it is no use to keep running ahead, should slow down to look things around and look back. :)
It has been five years since i left my secondary school. OMG. It has been a long time and i am so old alr. I read that book and found out that all friends have changed. Although i still contact the old friends, most of their view, value and character have already changed. They might just some new people for me to take a fresh start to know now. Hmm...The friends I know are those five years ago and the feeling is captured in the photo, my memory and their words for me only. It is no longer between they and me now.
Found out what i still remain is once I decided to go, I will go. Once I decided to cut, I will cut. Once I decided to stop, then i will not move anymore. Or can say, easily to initiate and easily to give up also. HAHA.. Hmm...stubborn is my personality that endure over my life, since kindergarden to primary school to secondary school and until now. HAHA...If still want to evaluate whether it is a weakness or an advantage, I would say, if use it wisely, it is advantage, and if it is wrongly used, it is weakness. Have to admit that, sometime it is good and sometime it is bad for me.
Thinking too much alr, should be focus on study....continue study...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Nick Vujicic
Shared by a friend.
I think we all are lucky and should be happy.
We know this is easy
But...do we know how difficult is it?
Be thankful and I know there is nothing to be angry about, there is nothing need to be worried and I know what happy is. He has thousand of reasons or so called excuses for him to give up, but he choose to persistance. Life is based on a choice and we are the one who choose, none reason can be a reason for us to give up.
His life, is a story, to enlighten yours and my life. :)
I think we all are lucky and should be happy.
We know this is easy
But...do we know how difficult is it?
Be thankful and I know there is nothing to be angry about, there is nothing need to be worried and I know what happy is. He has thousand of reasons or so called excuses for him to give up, but he choose to persistance. Life is based on a choice and we are the one who choose, none reason can be a reason for us to give up.
His life, is a story, to enlighten yours and my life. :)
Journal of the day
Today, although should be preparing my exam but i still wanted to grab the chance to explore more about that field and so i went for the seminar.
I had lunch with Rong first and spend a little time to study before the seminar. It is a good reward for me to eat better after few weeks fighting for exam. Haha. We choose the set lunch that no need to think which dishes to choose. Haha. I was full and satisfied. Rong sudden become too psychologist, she analyse everything i said based on psychology knowledge she gained. OMG, I should be envy her or scare of her now? {{ }}
Know more about what I can do and firming on what I want to do after attended this seminar. If what the speaker said is all true, then i know i am on the right track now. He is a great speaker by making full use of 1 n half hour to not only tell us every knowlegde but let us absorp every thing he said. Haha....This is the first time i absorp all the thing a person said fully for 1 n half hours because I was never distrated during that period of time. Wow....he imported some "things" from oversea and he also train the trainers.
Haha, Rong n I were excited and agree to discuss many things after exam. Exploring more about the world again...hmm.....exam faster finished ba..... Just 4 more days and two more papers le.
I remember I sent an article for college's magazine. It seem will be published by April. Wondering whether it was published already or not.
Hmm..Agree to go out on 1st May with some friends. Yeah, Yeah. Hope this time also a success gathering. It has been a long time since we last had our gathering.
Now, continue study...
I had lunch with Rong first and spend a little time to study before the seminar. It is a good reward for me to eat better after few weeks fighting for exam. Haha. We choose the set lunch that no need to think which dishes to choose. Haha. I was full and satisfied. Rong sudden become too psychologist, she analyse everything i said based on psychology knowledge she gained. OMG, I should be envy her or scare of her now? {{ }}
Know more about what I can do and firming on what I want to do after attended this seminar. If what the speaker said is all true, then i know i am on the right track now. He is a great speaker by making full use of 1 n half hour to not only tell us every knowlegde but let us absorp every thing he said. Haha....This is the first time i absorp all the thing a person said fully for 1 n half hours because I was never distrated during that period of time. Wow....he imported some "things" from oversea and he also train the trainers.
Haha, Rong n I were excited and agree to discuss many things after exam. Exploring more about the world again...hmm.....exam faster finished ba..... Just 4 more days and two more papers le.
I remember I sent an article for college's magazine. It seem will be published by April. Wondering whether it was published already or not.
Hmm..Agree to go out on 1st May with some friends. Yeah, Yeah. Hope this time also a success gathering. It has been a long time since we last had our gathering.
Now, continue study...
Journal of yesterday
Yesterday, too tired d and so fall into asleep after checking mail.
Whole morning, I was just memorizing for my exam as my memory capacity is not so good. Then went for exam when time reached. The exam's objective questions were not so tough, but I dun really know wat the essay is asking for. Amazingly, KC just spent 1 and 20 minutes to finish the exam. Well, I continued scratching my head and try to compose my story and apply all knowledge I have. This exam, I just finished in time, and one more paper settled. XD
Then, I went for my caligraphy class. I tot i am so LUCKY because as soon as I walked out, I saw a bus going to pass by the bus stop. So, I rushed to the bus stop and stood still to wait for the bus to reach. However, guess what, the bus just didnt stop because it was already full with people and I was still standing still there. ==" Err...Rong, Ooi and Yong laughed at me then...
Well, i guess that bus will always full with people, so based on my experience, I choose to take another bus in another bus stop. In that bus, OMG, this period time, any bus would just be full with people. Well, we were just like "sartin fish + salted fish" being kept in the rectangle box. As you know, people after work or school will just not be smelled good, in contrast to morning time, all sort of nice smell will just be filled in the bus.
My calligraphy teacher is more like a trainer than a teacher. It is just like a training (Shi Fu and Tu Di) in more ancient time that a Tu Di must master everything the Shi Fu have. Well, I know Shi Fu want us to continue the art of calligraphy to the future as the real art is in danger of diminishing. Urgh.....It is really a tough time to learn from him. Many details need to be particular noticed already while I havent really master my basic skill. Need to make use of every of my time to keep praticing. I started to doubt whether I can do it or not.
Home and I checked mail. The training company recruit me and she too. HAHA. we need to go thro second interview soon. A bit nervous and hope I can understand what they ask and will have better response at that time. I am just trying to exploring the world......
Whole morning, I was just memorizing for my exam as my memory capacity is not so good. Then went for exam when time reached. The exam's objective questions were not so tough, but I dun really know wat the essay is asking for. Amazingly, KC just spent 1 and 20 minutes to finish the exam. Well, I continued scratching my head and try to compose my story and apply all knowledge I have. This exam, I just finished in time, and one more paper settled. XD
Then, I went for my caligraphy class. I tot i am so LUCKY because as soon as I walked out, I saw a bus going to pass by the bus stop. So, I rushed to the bus stop and stood still to wait for the bus to reach. However, guess what, the bus just didnt stop because it was already full with people and I was still standing still there. ==" Err...Rong, Ooi and Yong laughed at me then...
Well, i guess that bus will always full with people, so based on my experience, I choose to take another bus in another bus stop. In that bus, OMG, this period time, any bus would just be full with people. Well, we were just like "sartin fish + salted fish" being kept in the rectangle box. As you know, people after work or school will just not be smelled good, in contrast to morning time, all sort of nice smell will just be filled in the bus.
My calligraphy teacher is more like a trainer than a teacher. It is just like a training (Shi Fu and Tu Di) in more ancient time that a Tu Di must master everything the Shi Fu have. Well, I know Shi Fu want us to continue the art of calligraphy to the future as the real art is in danger of diminishing. Urgh.....It is really a tough time to learn from him. Many details need to be particular noticed already while I havent really master my basic skill. Need to make use of every of my time to keep praticing. I started to doubt whether I can do it or not.
Home and I checked mail. The training company recruit me and she too. HAHA. we need to go thro second interview soon. A bit nervous and hope I can understand what they ask and will have better response at that time. I am just trying to exploring the world......
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Who am I?
I am who I am.
Do I really know who I am?
If I can tune the time of world, let's see 100 year before and after from now.
Who am I then?
Who is the person who tune the time of world?
Who is the person who is thinking of tuning the time?
Who is the person who is thinking of who I am?
The "I"?
What is the I then?
If there is another space in this world or called the "third space".
Who am I in third space then?
Who am I in this space then?
Who is the person who is thinking of the third space?
In a person, where the idea of third space come from?
Hmm.....I am just who I am. When I conclude "I am who I am", I am just stop thinking, not thinking anymore. Stop thinking...... Hmm.....
Do I really know who I am?
If I can tune the time of world, let's see 100 year before and after from now.
Who am I then?
Who is the person who tune the time of world?
Who is the person who is thinking of tuning the time?
Who is the person who is thinking of who I am?
The "I"?
What is the I then?
If there is another space in this world or called the "third space".
Who am I in third space then?
Who am I in this space then?
Who is the person who is thinking of the third space?
In a person, where the idea of third space come from?
Hmm.....I am just who I am. When I conclude "I am who I am", I am just stop thinking, not thinking anymore. Stop thinking...... Hmm.....
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